just give up; it gets better
you never know what life can bring when you stop trying
Oops! I did it again.
I went out with another Italian.
This summer has taken a turn I never expected, and I feel myself becoming boring.
They never warn you how boring you become when things start going positively instead of following the typical pattern that goes wrong.
You meet a boy. Get the promotion you deserve at work.1
You become a walking example of every cliche.
I don't know who I am without having disappointment as the narrative.
I wish I had some tangible advice. That I used wisdom from therapy or developed healthy habits to be in a place where I feel my life is finally moving forward.
Realistically, I just stopped trying.
The more we beg for things, the harder it is for us to receive them.
There's a calmness to being given something without even wanting it.
The pressure for it to be good is lost. We can embrace the gift for what it is.
There's nothing wrong with having goals and working hard towards them. But the peace of being gifted without asking feels just as lovely.
It might mean we become boring. The strife and struggle to prove yourself no longer apply.
But the best gifts are always ones that come without reason. That is given without any ulterior motive.
All we need to receive them is to be open.
even though you never got the congratulations in an email when everyone else did but that is the typical pattern ;)