i love girlhood

belonging, beauty, and the ache for sisterhood

Happy Friday, lovelies.

I am reflecting on girlhood this afternoon, watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Thinking about the phrase "I'm not like other girls."

I hate to admit this, but I don't think I know how to relate to other girls.

I'm in a situation currently where it is obvious that I do not fit in. It's reminiscent of my younger years. Maybe even a tiny bit triggering.

I think I always struggled to fit in with a group of girls. It could stem from the fact that I grew up around boys. Or that one of my first childhood friends made a new friend and decided they didn't want me around. It could be because I have a loner mentality. Maybe my need not to play the social games is the problem?

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Meanwhile, I've always embraced traditionally girly activities. I love the colour pink. I had a deep love for Barbies. For clothes, hair, and makeup. It can be taken as a threat. I noticed how differently I was perceived when I had platinum blonde hair. People expect you to be stuck up, full of yourself. Of course, I do have my moments, but I'm not high maintenance deep down.

Still I've have had several encounters where people have labeled me "bitch" before they even got to know me. Telling me later, they misjudged me.

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Despite all this, I can't ever seem to make it work in a group of girls. I have several girlfriends, but in groups, something doesn't click. It's something that has always pained me. I always wanted a sister. There's something so magical about women coming together in the spirit of acceptance and love.

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I picture girlhood as slumber parties and secrets. Giggling and whispers in the dark. Sitting together in a tiny room, doing each other’s hair and makeup. Clothes all over the floor.

"I think the first top goes better with those jeans."

Not being afraid to cry. That they'll find the exact words you need to hear to feel better.

No matter how old you get, the feeling of being a young girl is still with you.

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I want so badly to find a group of women. Without competition, just friendship, laughter, and trust. I won’t stop trying. And I won’t stop believing in the magic of girlhood.

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I love girlhood.

I love it when girls want to all dress the same.

Is it cliche, or is it friends who are not competitive with each other?

I love girlhood.

When we lift each other up in our accomplishments and encourage each other in our failures to keep going.

I love girlhood.

Because in a world designed for men, we're stronger together.